DEAN: Hey Sam I dare you to drink this. SAM: Why would I drink it? DEAN: I double-dare you!
MISSOUI: Boy if you put that foot on my table I'll wack you with a spoon! DEAN: I didn't do anything! MISSOUI: Yeah! But you were thinkin' it!
DEAN: See that attitude right there! That is why I always got the extra cookie.
DEAN: I hope your apple-pie is freakin worth it.
DEAN: Your not gonna try and kill me, are you? SAM: No. DEAN: Good. Coz then that would just be knida awkward.
DEAN: Dude, you fugly
SAM: So burning the body didn't do anything? DEAN: sure it did, now it's pissed
DEAN: Oh, you are a handsome devil, but I don't swing that way.
COP: Is there anything about you that's real? DEAN: My boobs.
DEAN: Demons I get. People are crazy.
DEAN: Oh sweetheart, I don't do shorts.
DEAN: Dude, I full-on Swayze'd that mother.
SAM: I stole a car. DEAN: That's my boy.
DEAN: Hold me, Sam. That was beautiful.
DEAN: I thought the legend said that this Mordecai only goes after chicks? SAM: It does DEAN: Well, that explains why it went after you, but why me? SAM: Hilarious
DEAN: So, what'd you dream about? SAM: Lollipops and candy canes. DEAN: Yeah, sure.
SAM: Why'd you let me fall asleep? DEAN: Because I'm an awesome brother.
DEAN: So you believe her? SAM: I do. DEAN: Yeah, I think she's hot, too.
DEAN: First I want to find that handsome devil and kick the holy crap out of him!
SAM: That was your great idea? To burn the house down? DEAN: People won't go in anymore.
DEAN: How could it get any worse? Some alien made you his bitch!
SAM: My daddy shot your daddy in the head.
DEAN: Dude, you, like, full on had a girl inside you for a full week. That's pretty naughty.
DEAN: Of course, the most troubling question is, why do these people assume we're gay. SAM: Well you are kind of butch – they probably think you're overcompensating.
SAM: What are you going to do, poke her with a stick? Dude, you're not going to poke her with a stick!
DEAN: Come on, man. I know Sam, better than anyone. He's got more of a conscience than I do. I mean, the guy feels guilty surfing the Internet for porn!
DEAN: Nobody is shooting my brother. DUANE: It's not going to be your brother much longer, you said it yourself! DEAN: Nobody's shooting anyone! DUANE: You were going to shoot me! DEAN: You don't shut your piehole, I still might!
DEAN: I usually like to be warned before I'm violated with demon tongue.
SAM: So I'm a freak now? DEAN: You've always been a freak.
DEAN: I hear you, ok? I'm being an ass. I'm sorry. But right now we've got a freaking zombie running around and we've got to figure out how to kill it. SAM: Our lives are weird, man.
DEAN: Your girlfriend is past her expiration date and we're crazy?
SAM: Give you a couple of severed heads and a pile of dead cows and you're Mr. Sunshine…
DEAN: I know what you're thinking: Why did it have to be clowns! SAM: At least I'm not afraid of flying. DEAN: Planes crash! SAM: And apparently clowns kill.